Reflections

The last year has provided much to contemplate.
 The joys and the opposing sorrow.

The pleasure of re-introducing my son to the joys of backpacking. Several days in Yosemite were a wonderful flashback to the last time we journeyed the single track together and hiked the Whitney trail .

 It was rewarding to see that spark again.

 Excitement over fields of flowers and less visited lakes.

Last year also gave me the opportunity to introduce backpacking to a first-timer. A short but adventurous trip to small lakes nearby. The spark of “I can do this” on her face, precious.

Then there was the Teton Crest Trail with a special friend whom I met on the JMT years ago, truly an adventure of a lifetime. One can never get over the biodiversity, each day new. I long to run its entirety. Perhaps another time.

Finally, after three unsuccessful years of trying, a lucky lottery draw for the Canyon de Chelly Ultra Run changed my back country focus entirely. Training became more focused. Many a backcountry journey solo. Fastpacking a weekly occurrence. Mileage became obsessive. A total pack weight for three days only 10 pounds made moving fast, running, not hard. The difference between what is necessary to take and that which is merely nice to have obvious.

The race itself an amazing experience in the heart of Navajo country. Cliff dwellings and wild horses existing among the monolithic stone walls, reminders of another time. I had much to contemplate during this 55k. All the adventures that lead to the fulfillment of this opportunity. How far I had come from a narrow escape of a lifetime in a wheelchair and discovering for myself that running can heal in many different ways. The race director words, “running is healing” still in my brain.

http://www.canyondechellyultra.com/

Canyon walls still call out to me. One of my favorite moments was finding myself alone among them. The quiet. Looking up and seeing the spectacular colors, a lone eagle. 

Shaun’s words, ‘running is healing” reverberated, and I cried. 

I am ever so grateful to Shaun Martin and the Navajo Nation for allowing me the opportunity to have this be my last memory of my mother who passed suddenly shortly after this event. Grateful my parents were witness to my finish in this magical place.

Tomorrow, and every day, I will go out and run for “running is healing.

In The Beginning

To understand my motivation for starting this blog you one would have to understand what it’s like to be sidelined with an injury.  My running 50-75 miles a week cut short to riding a stationary bike.  Approximately 50 races on my bucket list completed and a Ragnar Tahoe Ultra Race postponed and transferred to another venue.  I am now motivated to write as I spend a great deal of my time now sitting, healing.

How did this come to be?  A race.  But first a bit of history, I am not as young as I used to be none of us are) and took up ultra-running 5 years ago.  I had never run before, hated running with a passion in school and was known for commenting on how crazy anyone was for wanting to do anything more than a 5k.  I would never be one of those persons.  Not me.  

Then came “the bucket list”.

I have always been a backpacker, having explored Colorado, Arizona and California since I was nine years old thanks to my parents.  The John Muir Trail became a dream when I was faced with a very sudden undiagnosed neurological problem and the great possibility of being in a wheelchair in the near future.  Anyway, in an effort to stabilize my walking from a weeble to a wobble to someone who was able to handle paths with cliffs on one edge, I took up running. 

I went from my first race, walking a half marathon (more on that later) to running a 50k in just over one year. I just completed that same 50k, in June, placing 2^nd in my age group, the weekend before and for fun only, ran the Walt Stack Double Dipsea.  It was here that I met my fate.

Stinson Beach and Muir Woods were a wonderful backdrop for a race.  The trail incredibly beautiful and challenging. The Race was put on by outstanding people, couldn’t ask for more.  I felt great.  Just over a half marathon, this was no biggy.  It was on the way back from Mill Valley that I met with disaster. Mile 8.5.  The trail is one where you have to work your brain, concentrate on the obstacles and know where to land.  I did so all throughout without problem. Until it got easy.  It was when the trail smoothed out and had no obstacles, no stairs that I became complacent and dropped my focus.  I twisted my foot and immediately felt a pop.  The pain came as I passed an aide station and made the decision to power walk the pain away.  Unfortunately, it didn’t leave me.

The swelling was almost immediately after I passed my DNF option.  I have never had a non-finish and wasn’t about to experience that on this run. Getting into this was another bucket list item. So I pressed on and slowly began running again.  The pain increased and I was faced with my brain wanting to focus on it which was making things worse.  That went on for about a mile.

I knew something was not good with my foot, I thought it was possibly a bad ankle sprain. It felt like it was my ankle, the same one I broke in three places the first day of ski season several years ago while getting equipment down from our attic.  I kept focusing on the pain and the obvious swelling that was occurring in my Salomon shoes.

As I pressed on, I came upon a couple of runners ahead of me and came to the realization that if I focused on them, if I could pass them, I would have something else to focus on. I could leave the pain behind me on the trail.  So, I did.  I did this with each runner I subsequently came upon. It became a game of sorts.  “I can beat this one”.  I studied their gate, their body position and their overall running attitude and picked them off one by one. 

I made it out the last 5 miles plus this way and completed the Race feeling little pain.

I placed third in my age group and went home with a broken fifth metatarsal. 

And here I sit. 

What I learned from this was; 1) get yourself out by yourself when possible, 2) you can set the pain aside by focusing outside yourself and 3) the race will go down as my favorite because of what I learned.

I love running.